Two people that I have known for a very long time - mother and nay, are notorious for running away from their problems. It drives me bonkers. If there is any potential for conflict, they will avoid the situation like the plague. For some reason, I did not inherit this trait. Don't get me wrong - I do not enjoy or even look forward to facing conflict. However, I believe strongly in facing your fears and solving your problems. I believe that the only way to possibly be happy is to prevent hidden feelings. I do not mean to say that we should all say exactly what we are thinking at all times. Of course there are times when it is appropriate to tell a white lie - or better yet, to just keep quiet. What I mean is that when we experience an emotion that it unpleasant, we should communicate that to the person who we feel has caused it. More times than not, that person did not intend to cause the emotion. More times than not, if a person is made aware, in a calm but assertive manner, that they caused an undesirable emotion, that person will work to correct the situation. I believe that all people just want to be understood. And that the only way to be understood is to seek to understand others. It is impossible to completely understand another person without communicating to them the impact that they have on you.
Both of the aforementioned people are terribly passive aggressive. I find this to be an incredibly counterproductive method of expressing emotions. I find it to be much quicker and simpler to solve a dispute or a disagreement just by going straight to the person and communicating what you understand their case to be and asking them if your understanding is correct. If it is, then you have an opportunity to explain why you disagree. If your understanding is incorrect, then they have the opportunity to rectify the misunderstanding.
Why do people do things that make them unhappy? I am afraid that I will never understand this, as much as I try.
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