The Dreaminess of Fog

Oh, how I love a foggy morning! Fog has such a spell-like effect on me. I just love the way it diffuses the light of street lamps to make them look as if they were taken right out of some oldy mystery show where the narrator is the detective and he has this masculine and respectable sound that makes you feel like he would protect you from anything. When the fog lays thickly on the ground, like a soft snuggly blanket that you could laze around all day in, I have a hard time convincing myself that this is actually not such a great idea. Fogginess makes me feel like I am living in a dream-world where everything moves slowly and there is never anything important enough to warrant quick movement. I love how it makes landscapes look like paintings by Monet. When I go downtown on a foggy morning and the tops of tall buildings are lost in the fog, I get this feeling that I could probably just climb out one of those windows way up toward the top and just sit atop of the fog and watch cars and people down below. The moist-mistiness of a good dense fog feels as if it is cleansing me when I walk through it. All sounds seem distant when you are moving through this dream world. After one of those foggy-lazy days, I wonder what my life would be like if every day were like that.

Blog-o-Lists

I have always been an extremely organized person. I love to organize and categorize and list and coordinate and make sure things are just so.


My friends and family often laugh at my closet. All likes together - skirts, then pants, then tanks, then short sleeves, then 3/4 sleeves, then long sleeves, then dresses. There are also subcategories: button downs, tunics, professional attire, casual attire, etc. I do not categorize by color. I probably would, but once I have everything categorized into subcategories, there isn't necessarily enough variety of color in each subcategory to further subcategorize. LLB is the only one who doesn't laugh. And he is the complete opposite! If I did not exist, his closet would be filled on a first come first serve basis with no particular place for each item. He is so wonderful though - not only does he put my clothes away in the "right place" when he does laundry, but he does this in his own closet as well. When I do laundry, I automatically put his clothes away in this manner; but it is not because I demand it be so - it is because my mind just does things that way. I would have to make a conscious effort to NOT put things away "in order".


Numbers are also a large part of my thinking format. I count everything - steps, chews, people in lines, letters in words... It is not a must; if I am carrying on a conversation, I do not think about counting. If I am listening to music, I do not need to count. But if I am just going along all alone with time to allow my mind to wander - it just counts. I also number things. The numbers do not necessarily have any meaning. They just help me to organize the items that I am writing down. I love to read recipes and I get a bit uncomfortable with recipes that do not number the steps.


So this brings me to my love of lists.


I came across a blog that made me think "Do I have a split personality alter ego that I do not know about that also blogs?". The blog is The Secret Society of List Addicts. How did I find it? Oh, well how do you find blogs? I read in a blog that I follow that the writer basically came across it in the same way that I did - by reading about it in another blog. I could map out a diagram of how this transpired, but I will refrain and just give credit to Happy Hour...Somewhere for leading me to this blog-o-lists that I am now addicted to.

FREEBIES - WOOOHOOOO!!!!

Why do people LOOOOVE freebies? I attended a convention recently and the first x number of attendees got a free give-away. The Freebie was just a cheap, plastic tote bag filled with brochures and fliers from businesses. The total value of the Freebie was next to nothing. Especially since you could browse the convention and pick up brochures and talk to representatives from all of the businesses that had print material included in the tote. There has got to be a term for this social phenomenon. Is it even a phenomenon? Whatever it is, I don't want to say that I find it sad or pathetic - No, I just find it interesting. To get anything for free makes people feel like they've gotten one over on..... who? what? I don't know, but that is the feeling - pride, smugness, superiority. Is it a deep rooted natural instinct to take advantage of any opportunity to gain no matter what it is that is being gained?

Don't even get me started on the environmental impact of these.... The useless bag made of plastic, the sheets upon sheets of wasted paper... Ugh.

The Joy of Cooking

Cooking is so fulfilling and creative. My head fills with images of beautifully presented meals when I read recipes. Recipes are guidelines and are not meant to be taken as gospel. They often require tweaking to make them a bit more personal. I love taking old classics and spicing them up with new twists. Joy comes to me from people who are pleasantly surprised by a new taste in a dish that they thought they knew intimately. A man who has only ever known his mother's lasagna might have doors of possibilities opened for him when he suddenly realizes that there is so much more to lasagna than long, wide noodles, ricotta & mozzerella, and "red sauce". A girl who has the same fried egg with toast every morning for breakfast might become inspired in ways she did not know possible when she is shown the wonderful things you can do with eggs and toast if you use a little imagination. A dish that does not turn out quite right is a learning experience and will make the next dish you create a little bit more delicious.

The only ugly side of cooking: clean up.

My Lover

My lover is a bringer of joy. He makes me laugh in ways that one would not think possible without having experienced one's soul being tickled by it's perfect match. My lover makes me crazy. He makes me irrational. He makes me whole. My lover knows what I mean, even when I don't. He knows what I feel without being told. My lover makes me want to be the best person that I can be so that I am worthy of his love. He makes feel like I am the only woman on earth.

Silver Lining

I feel a bit sorry for people who refuse to find the silver lining. So often, a difficult situation is actually an opportunity to learn, teach, and grow. I do not understand why anyone would WANT to first look to how a situation causes them hardship, unfairness, or inconvenience. I believe that we create our own luck and that we are all responsible for our own happiness. Life is what you make of it. If you decide that it is full of sunshine, flowers and butterflies, music, and love - then that is what your life will be. I catch myself becoming defensive and upset with people and I am working to recognize those feelings before they effect my mindset. I want to be able to stop those feelings from taking over and blurring my vision. I am too often reactive rather than proactive. I use writing as an outlet for my emotions. I tend to allow myself to get worked up about things that I could be using as opportunities to learn, teach, and grow. I struggle with this. I spill my emotions all over the page or screen without first contemplating the cause of such emotions. My goal is to eventually be at such peace, that when a person presents me with an opportunity to learn their point of view and frame of reference, I will take advantage of that opportunity rather than succumb to the emotions that prevent me from learning.

Things I Love

Love, LLB, Family, Friends, Clean-Fresh Air, Flowers, Butterflies, Clean Natural Bodies of Water, Animals, Dogs (they deserve to be listed separately from animals), Music, Laughing, Dancing, Surprises, Fashion, Shoes, Purses, Earrings, Trees, Soft Things, Shimmer, Glitter, Orange Juice, Pizza, Microbrews, Local Wine, Dressing Up, Dressing Down, Comfy Clothes, Cool Grass, Hammocks, Clouds, Fall, Spring, Summer, Winter, Meeting New Friends, Cyber Stalking My Friends (hahaha, inside joke :)), Teaching My Dog New Skills, Wedding Planning, Being Creative, Making Things, Cooking, Baking, Learning, Feeling Empowered, Movies, Recycling, Finding Ways to Reduce Waste, Blankets, Chili, Sugar Snap Peas, Homemade Ice Cream, Coffee, Tea, Mint, Snuggling, Fresh Snow, Summer Rain, A Clear Starry Night Sky, Architecture, Old Houses, Historic Districts, Festivals, Concerts, Cookouts, Non-Smoking Bars, Collections, Scarves, Photography, Sunsets & Sunrises, Geology, Organics, Compost (ultimate cradle to cradle), Reading, Outdoor Restaurants, Ampitheaters, Picnics, Games, Sleeping In, A Successful Career, Being a Strong & Respected Woman in a Male Dominated Field of Work, Dreaming, Writing, Reflecting, Gardens, Birds Singing Outside of my Bedroom Window, Fireplaces, Natural Stone, MP3s, Inside Jokes, Comedy, Feeling Pretty, Cheesecake, Stained Glass, Libraries, Pineapple, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Skirts, Nature, Science, Post Secret, Burt's Bees, Fluffy Pillows, Intelligence

Oh yeah, and blogging... :oD

waste not, want not

I have a very hard time understanding why people waste. I mean we all could do a better job of minimizing the amount of trash we create, but most people are just so very mindless of the waste they create. All of the grocery stores in this city sell reusable shopping bags - all of them. Yet, every time I get groceries, there are so many people that say "plastic please". Ok, it might be hard to remember the bags when you first get them. But if it is a priority to you, you WILL remember. If it is something you care about, you WILL remember! So why don't people care about reducing the amount of those disgusting plastic bags that are flying all around the city making this place seem trashy? Honestly, there is a grocery store every couple of blocks, so if you get to the store and realize that you have forgotten your bags, is it really that hard to just go back home and get them? I mean, I understand that taking the trip back home is also wasteful, but if you make it MORE inconvenient to forget your bags than it is to remember you bags, you will be so much less likely to forget them.

Oh, and disposable drinking containers - plastic water bottles and paper coffee cups! How horrible are these objects??? What, you are too cheap to buy a $3 travel mug to put your $5 dollar Starbucks in? And bottled water - ridiculous! The water in this city is so clean, it is actually cleaner than bottled water - so that is NOT an excuse. Oh, ok, so it is convenient. How lazy are we as a society that we need to be able to purchase a portable container of water at absolutely every public place we may frequent? If you are really in that bad of need of constant access to drinking water, just bring a reusable bottle along!

Do NOT even get me started on people who just flat our refuse to recycle! We get recycle containers that are emptied by the city - CURBSIDE! How much more convenient can it get? But it is unbelievable how often people will use the excuse "I just don't ever think about it.". Seriously? That big yellow bin that the city provides you with doesn't jog your memory??? And then there are people that say "Why would I recycle? They don't give you any incentive.". Ok, well reducing the amount of landfill used to store your discarded aluminum cans isn't incentive enough? How selfish have we become? Do people ever do things because they are the right thing to do?

religion, or lack thereof

I do not believe in god(s). I do not believe in a "higher power". I would never consider myself to be "dark" or "edgy", I just don't see the logic in religion. I think that religion is a great thing, because it makes a lot of people happy and brings people together. It gives so many people a reason to be "good" people. But I still don't see the logic. The best way that I know how to explain what I believe is to say that I believe in nature and science. I believe that nature is so incredibly complex and perfect and that everything in nature effects everything else. I believe that the things that cause us to ask "why would this happen to me?" are self inflicted pains and injuries. I believe that if all people were good to all of nature, so many of the worlds problems would not exist. There are things in nature that are difficult to accept; things such as cute little furry creatures getting eaten by slithery, scaly scary looking creatures. But I am OK with every piece of nature having it's place and role to play. I guess that is easy for me to say because I am not prey.....

spring is the best

I am getting really antsy for spring to get here. That is the absolute best time of the year. Everything feels so clean and fresh and new and beautiful. The best is when you are laying in bed on a Sunday morning and sunlight is coming in the windows and you hear birds singing. This is the perfect way to wake up. It is so exciting to see everything starting to grow. I am always surprised by the flowers. Somehow I forget what bulbs I have planted just 6 months ago. The rain in spring is so cleansing. Even the terrible thunderstorms that cause the power to go out and terrify my dog are wonderful. Don't get me wrong - I am heartbroken when my dog is terrified. I just feel that he needs to learn to appreciate a good thunderstorm. Tornadoes are the one thing that I dislike about spring. They really scare me. I have been in a few and have been incredibly fortunate not to have ever had any bad experiences with them (other than being scared during).

My gardens have been coming in a little bit better each year we are in this house. Last year I planted quite a few new things. My lovely plants include: lilacs, phlox, daffodils, tulips, hyacinths, day lilies, balloon flowers, fox glove, butterfly bush, astilbe, poppies, mini hollyhocks, hostas, hydrangeas, hens and chicks, bleeding hearts..... That is all I can think of. Pictures will definitely be posted.

Politics in the Workplace

Ok, I just want to start by saying that I love my job. I work for a great company that does A LOT for it's employees and I work with a bunch of good people. BUT (I know you were expecting that) so many of the people I work with are just plain clueless.

My immediate supervisor (aka My Boss) is such an arrogant, self righteous ass. He is the kind of person that always needs validation and always needs to be "right". If you have an idea that you bring to the table, he will talk around it and bring it back to something he thought of. How insecure must he be that he can't just say "That's a good idea, I'm glad you thought of it. I am going to let you implement that idea in whatever way you think is best."????? He just can NOT allow someone to have a thought that he didn't think first or allow someone to do something without having a better way of doing it.

Some of the other people I work with are these far right conservatives that have no clue when it comes to politics or current events. They simply regurgitate rhetoric, rumors, hearsay, and propaganda and seem to honestly believe that what they are saying should be taken as FACT. I am not the type to talk about something as if I am an expert when I have not taken the time to research the topic. Some of these guys will go on and on about how a particular issue is "a farce" and "a political ploy" and other buzzwords that you might hear if you listen to Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck or some other far right idiot on a daily basis. Yet, if you ask them why they think that, they have no REAL reason. The only explanation they can give you is that this is what makes sense or this is what "so and so" says. Well then - if your EXPERT and HIGHLY EVOLVED intuition tells you that scientists are just plain wrong, it must be correct!

But what can I do? Like I said, I love my job. I go to this place every day and pretend to have no interest in politics so that I do not have to partake in these ridiculous conversations. I say that I did not watch the debates or the inauguration or the latest address just so that I do not have to hear what anyone has to say about it. If they only knew....

hi, this is me

My whole life, I have been told that I am beautiful. When I was a little girl, people would tell my parents that I was beautiful; when I was a preteen and teen I was told all the time that I should get into modeling. I have never felt like this person. It's not that I feel ugly - I don't feel UGLY, necessarily. I just do NOT feel beautiful. I have certain features that I know are pretty - my hair and my eyes. But I have acne, I have dandruff (if I don't use the right shampoo), I have stained teeth from coffee and cigarettes (which I do not smoke anymore), I have small boobs and a poochey belly, I have flabby arms and I have thigh cellulite.

I have never had the confidence of a "beautiful girl" either. I have always felt socially awkward, like I never quite fit in with any "clique" or "social set". I am not girly enough, sporty enough, nice enough, outgoing enough, snobby enough, rich enough, poor enough, smart enough, dumb enough, or anything enough to fit in anywhere. No matter what group of people I am with, I am just a little bit different. Just enough that I just don't quite fit.

So this is me. Average, common, nothing special.